Braestfeeding

I was so super determined to breastfeed even way before i knew i was pregnant. This is because i read bout the GOODNESS of it where NO, really NO formula milk with whatever BEST scientific formula they have can compare with GOD's creation!
I was even totally aware of all the hardship and consequences ... but of course you will think it is easier said than done. True. But i only had Kiersten's health before me to keep me going throughout my breastfeeding journey.
The goal was to supply for 2 years!

The Beginning
Day 1 (few hours after delivery)
A so-called lactation nurse came to me with Kiersten for feed. Why i called her so-called because she was so young, around her early twenties and definitely not married, or a mum.
My 1st question to her was 'You sure i've got milk so sooon?' , she replied 'Yeah'
Ok... she quickly carry Kiersten to me. I raised my baju up, look at my breast, and think 'God Bless the production'. I was skeptical. Who can blame me, there was no briefing at all! Not that i am expecting a 2 hours course ... but at least some idea of how i should start. Especially for the 1st time mum. The nurse then cupped my breast with her palm. Shocked, shy and helpless, i just kept quiet and try to learn from whatever she was doing. If you think that is rude, i don't think so. She squeezed Kiersten's fragile cheek to my breast and try to make her suckle on.
This is when i jumped! Still controlling my manner, i asked .. 'U sure? There isn't any drop of susu and i don't think Kiersten knows how to suckle on. Are there any way to do this?' She answered ' No, you have to just keep squeezing your breast' and while she said that, she was squeezing Kiersten's cheek. By now her cheek was as red as an apple.. i swear. That was the final draw. I stopped her! Again i asked ' if i don't have milk yet, what is my baby going to drink if she is hungry. Which at that time i don't know that babies can go without milk for at least 3 - 4 days. She just replied ' u kena try lar, kalau tak der then tak der lor'. What kind of an answer is this from a nurse. She left. My mum, Elayn, Zoya was there with me throughout that time. My mum was not helping definitely. She was in tears seeing all that, that had happened. Blaming me for being so harsh not allowing Kiersten to have Formulas. Believe me i was so super angry, depressed and thought of just getting everyone out from my room. I called chris to come in and told him the whole episode especially my mum. Chris was super supportive. But of course i was also worried bout the milk. What if really no milk for days, how izit gonna be? I was like a mad woman asking the question around.
I was desperate. I tried every ways. Still no milk. So i gave up. Thinking .. let me fix myself 1st and in the mean time ask the nurses to give Kiersten some Formula. So i did just that. The nurse then told me if i do that then my baby will not wanna learn how to suckle a breast since the bottle tits are sooo much easier and effortless. I insisted. I thought my baby will be adaptive.
So all that hoo.. hahh... for day 1 ... Damn tired!


Day 2 (Discharge day)
In the morning, at last a real lactation Director visited me, asking how am i coping along with Breastfeeding. Like verbal diarrhea , i pored my whole experience to her. She was so super kind to understand and spent time explaining the steps to me. Like how i should massage my breast first then how i should put Kiersten's mouth in and guide her. After theory lesson, she called for Kiersten for me to do the practical pulak. Still kelam-kabut, but at least better after the theory. But sadly, still no milk. Damn... i was thinking how come other mothers' get their supply immediately. how they do it? Though frustrated, i am still not giving up but desperately looking for a solution and help! I kept telling Chris, i'm in a race here... i need to get the milk to to Kiersten B4 she missed the MOST IMPORTANT part of it .. the colostrum! Though he was also as anxious as me, there's nothing he can do or know how to do.
But as usual, Chris will never leave me alone for any battle :)


Day 3 (Already Home)
This is worst, home! With all the old folks and NO encouragement! All they are concerned is Kiersten is starving and mummie & daddie is the culprit. Can you imagine the situation. Dah it is not easy to adapt with a new borne home, No sleep, not enough rest, need to still entertain (thank gudness we already pre-determined NO GUESS throughout my confinement, BUT only the selected ones).
In the mean while Kiersten was having formulas. Chris & I on the pursuit to solution.